In coming in to post this, I saw some old drafts, one of which was from late 2023, talking about how my life was reduced to commuting between work and a hospital to visit my dad (he’s since recovered and back home!). In that draft I mentioned a quote by Winston Churchill:
If you’re going through hell, keep going!
I can certainly say that I think I was certainly there. Over the last 2 (nearly 3) years, I’ve experienced a major medical event myself, then lost now two family members and a good friend, all under the age of 60, and nearly lost my dad. I’m not out of the weeds yet, I certainly wouldn’t even blink if a meteor landed in the parking lot of the restaurant I’m at, but at the moment, I’m at the “keep going” part, for better or for worse.
Someone on Reddit mentioned that grief of a loved one works like waves; at first the waves are huge and its hard to breathe and keep your head above water, but eventually they start to subside and become a little more manageable. This experience of course differs for everyone, and for most, I’d like to think the waves never really stop, we just learn to swim a little better.
I can honestly say I think I’ve been through every emotion in the book (and a few it doesn’t even cover) over the past 2 years. Its certainly changed my perspective on life, on decision making, and just about everything else. Being able to point at the ground and say “that’s my grave plot” definitely puts a different feel on life. In the song “Life is Beautiful” by Nikki Sixx, he says “There’s nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive”. It certainly does, like getting hit in the face with a cinderblock. Suddenly things are more urgent; that “I’ll do that tomorrow” gets second guessed, as you watched two family members lose their tomorrows forever.
Now that I’ve gotten past most of it, I’m just getting stuff done at this point, and taking a good look at my “inventory” to determine if I even have enough time to tackle some of my projects before I get to inhabit that plot. As this Gen-Xer ages, perhaps less focus on turning a screwdriver, and instead turn a steering wheel on a road trip instead.
Things are crazy anymore, nothing is ever guaranteed in life, even tomorrow. First and foremost, take care of yourself, if you think you’re not well or something’s wrong, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. After that, take that risk, eat the good meals, travel, have fun, and if you want to do something, do it NOW, because life is beautiful.